Flash back 4 years, and I was a very different person that I am today. Not a better or worse person, just different. Four years ago I was out of shape, hadn’t worked out in years, and was pretty unhealthy if I was honest about it. Not to mention, I was extremely weak. I couldn’t move furniture, couldn’t do a single pushup, and couldn’t even carry a case of water into the house. Let’s just say this, none of my friends or family were calling me to help them move…maybe hold open the door for them while they did the heavy lifting (maybe) but that’s about it.

So what changed 4 years ago? My sister joined a gym. I was shocked. My sister was joining a gym?!?! Well, I must too. There is some strange power in peer pressure (although she never asked me to join with her) or maybe I just felt better about going to the gym with someone who was equally out of shape. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so out of place and uncomfortable if I had a partner. I set out in my new venture with a goal, a very simple goal. I was going to be skinny. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t want muscles; I didn’t need to be strong. I only needed to be skinny. Because skinny is what counts right? So I thought at the time. I honestly believed that being skinny would make me happy. Because who isn’t happy if they can wear a two piece bikini and look great? I mean that’s where true happiness lies right? As I know now, I was totally wrong.

The first few months were hard, I mean really hard. I hated every minute of it. I was sore, achy, and felt muscles that I didn’t even know existed. I got a personal trainer because I had no idea what I was doing, and I kept on pushing. Through a series of events, I ended up training at a strength and conditioning gym with a great coach who introduced me to powerlifting. He taught me to squat, bench, and deadlift. It was love at first lift. By this time, I had improved my strength a ton and grown to like working out as well. But powerlifting was different. It was euphoric. I loved pushing myself to new boundaries and getting stronger every day. One day I woke up and realized that I was pretty freaking strong. And you know what? I LOVED it!! I even started competing (who would have ever thought).

It was during this period that I realized there is beauty in strength. I dropped my desire to only be skinny and focused on being strong, fueling my body properly, and training hard. And you know what happened during that process? I totally transformed my physique. Fast forward to today. I’m not skinny. I have muscles. And most importantly, I love my body. I’m proud of every single thing I have accomplished, and I’m proud of the person I have become through the process. It’s made me physically and mentally stronger and transformed my life outside the gym as well. I found a confidence in myself I didn’t know existed.  And the cool thing is that the confidence I found through lifting has carried over in every aspect of my life.  It allowed me to see that I’m capable of so much more than I previously thought.

I’m proud of the fact that I’m strong. I can now haul in all my groceries in a single trip (#score) and squat and deadlift hundreds of pounds. And guess what? I can move the damn furniture too! So for me strength training helped me find my confidence, find my strength, and quite frankly, happiness and peace with my body. So for me it’s powerlifting. But maybe for you, it’s running, or yoga, or heck even roller derby. Whatever it is that helps you find your inner strength and gives you confidence you never knew you had, DO IT! Do it often, do it unapologetically, and do it because you love it. I encourage you to find your passion and do it not to be skinny but to be healthy and the best version of yourself possible. I promise you’ll be surprised at what happens in the process!